As much as I don't want this to be true I am not wanting to go back into the mountains. Even the glorious High Sierras aren't enough of a pull to get me beyond the mental place I currently find myself.
I've learned something about myself. It is very hard for me to quit something that has been a long term goal and focus of my energy. While I understand the goal was mine to make, and change if I want to do so, it still feels like a failure to quit.
I guess from the beginning I didn't know if I had it in me to do the whole thing in one season. Maybe that's why I always qualified my statements with "I'm attempting" the PCT or "that's the goal" when I spoke of my plan. I didn't know if I liked thru hiking or simply the idea of thru hiking. Of course there's only one way to find out but still, I am disappointed to find out I liked the idea more than the reality.
A secondary goal might be to take some time off and then in early August go to Ashland and walk north from there. That would give me two months to get as far north as possible. Canada possibly but somewhere in Washington for sure. That would make me feel somewhat better about the whole thing.
So here I sit, having tea in the Java Joint, it's 3:49 Monday afternoon, I have taken two buses today and I find myself in Mammoth with five days till the next bus going west. I don't know what I will end up doing.
Anyone interested in driving over to Mammoth to pick up a wayward hiker?