Dang. I've got six days till I take off for LA and family visiting. The good news? All my resupply boxes are done and ready to be mailed by my oh-so-trusty and remarkable girlfriend/partner for forever, Angela. All that remains for me to do is to get them to her art studio tomorrow, where they will await mailing. Truly, I couldn't do this without her support and doggedness.
Last time around (two years ago) I was feeling very different. Terrible intestinal trouble - I thought I might be getting an ulcer I was so verklempt. I was scared and…what? I don't know what. But I guess I was feeling so unsure of myself that I didn't know if I'd manage 100 miles…who could even think of 2,663.5 miles? Well, hey. I've walked 700 miles of hot, dry, waterless desert and I think, and believe, I will be able to do it again.
If there is such a thing as temperament and tendency, I have always been a scared individual. I was raised to be polite, kind and well, British in nature. Not that Brits as a people are timid, au contraire. But there is something about learning to be kind, appropriate and polite that can make a perfectly wild child kinda timid. You could say I've spent the past six decades learning to push against this kind of conditioning. Girl training is part of it. I remember the adult women in my youth saying that it was important to let the menfolk think they were the smarter ones. Really? Who ever thought that would be a good idea? Maybe people without economic power…? Well, never mind why, it is still a lesson I learned that follows me everywhere I go. When you have to temper your own talents against someone else's ego…Well, it isn't often a very good outcome.
Even given all of that, in ten days I will leave my perfectly wonderful life, home and friends/family/animal friends and start walking north, to Canada. What a crazy idea! I can't really say why this is a good idea but to me it seems right. I am a simple person with a silly idea but I hope to make it happen.